Hello everyone and I hope this entry finds you blessed and doing well! This journal entry is from April 11, 2015; almost three years ago and I still absolutely love this quote and my response to it. I think that it has showed how much I’ve grown in the almost three years since I wrote this. I want to share this with you today for the sole purpose of
getting vulnerable and showing you that mental health isn’t anything to be afraid of, and that it is possible to learn how to love who you are, how your thinking and mind works, and honoring yourself and your feelings.
The Coldness & Fear of Others
People are so scared. I am so scared; of everything: spiders, people, anger, knowing, not knowing… but why? Nothing hurts or angers me unless I allow it to. I guess I learn through modeling, instead of trying things myself.
It’s learned fear… F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal
Once again, this is not real. The only productive fear keeps us from getting killed or killing ourselves. I tend to avoid those who have become cold in this life; probably because I am one of them. A passionate and eager soul controlled by the fear of the irrational mind. So many ambitions and goals subdued by the ‘what ifs?’
I’m working on living like the only opinion that matters is mine. I am improving. The burning of my ambitions are becoming stronger than my fears. As long as I work hard, I will continue to improve.
Nothing is More Powerful Allowing Yourself to be Truly Affected by Things
Acknowledging feelings is very hard for me. Most of my life has been pretending like I’m not affected by much. It’s how I thought I was keeping myself safe. I was greatly mistaken. Denying my feelings has debilitated me to such an extent that it is hard for me to even understand what I’m feeling, much less WHY. I will be in a situation and become anxious or angry, and I don’t know why. It has been very difficult for me to manage this especially at work when I can’t be the priority. I need to make sure no one falls apart or fights each other. How do I balance this? Shannon (my therapist), suggested that I talk with my inner child but that’s not even in my head when this happens. So how can I practice?
- Acknowledge the feeling(s).
- Let myself feel it but not for too long.
- Process and tell myself why I don’t need to feel this way anymore.
- Let it go.
- Later I can evaluate the source of the source of the feeling when I’m calm and can give myself the space to do so.
It takes a very strong person to acknowledge feelings. It lessens the power the feeling has over me. Also, admitting that people and things affect me lessens that power. I only have control over myself.
All of This is For You- Take It & Have Gratitude
I am human. I have the ability of logical and emotional thinking. I can ask questions. I can delay gratification. I have conscious awareness. This is a BEAUTIFUL thing.
I think most of us are scared of our emotions because it makes us uncomfortable. In this society we are conditioned to disconnect from our bodies and our feelings as much as possible; because emotions are perceived as weakness.
But emotions are anything but weakness… They are what make us the brilliant beings that we are! We just need to learn how to identify and regulate (not to be confused with control) our feelings, and become comfortable with each emotion. Because our emotions are messengers. They are telling us something. We mustn’t ignore the message because this message is vital to our well-being and our livelihood.